It seems like the most complicated things in our lives lack reasons. I ask myself, sometimes, after having a good day despite having the wrong body, "Why is it so important that I transition? I mean, to me, things like physical body shouldn't matter when it come to how to treat people."
I never know what to say to myself. It just is. Words that are so dreaded to someone so scientifically-minded, so detail-oriented as myself.
Why am I so hesitant to simply speak to a stranger, or even an acquaintance?
I just am.
It's a little dissatisfying, especially when I can ask myself something ridiculous and trivial like "Why do you waste your time writing a blog?" and can give myself a clear, concise answer like "it's an outlet." I'd give up knowing the reasons for the trivial things if I could know the reasons for the important things. But then, because humans are humans, the important things, because reasons are known for them, and easy to explain, would become the trivial things.
On another note, Macs don't seem to be very good for someone who has wrist pain. The way there is so much bulk between the edge of the laptop and the keys...Work left me in pain today. ;A; Carpal tunnel surgery...if what my mom says is true, I'm gonna have to dish out the 150$ or so for Dragon, and dictate everything for a while...which would mean..no writing smut! What will I do!?
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