Well, today was the first day of the semester. That being said, I survived, because I'm writing this. Nobody said a word about me cutting my hair, though if anyone asked I was prepared (and willing) to tell them I think it suits my gender identity better than the long ponytail I was donning before.
I'm still faced with the problem of using masculine endings in Spanish when talking about myself and getting away with it, but this is something I'll have to deal with. It's my major, after all, so I won't be quitting the language any time soon. If it comes to it, I could explain it to my teacher. She's cool, and she's also my advisor. That being said, she likes me already.
Tomorrow's going to be the hard part. I have...Speech. Me, the socially inept, too awkward to make a single college friend on his own shy guy I am...in front of a class, talking. I'll be lucky if I don't have to retake it over the summer.
I spent some time on my own today. And while the weather was nice, and campus was bustling, I managed to snag a nice table outside, all to myself. And ponder...
Maybe I'll post what I wrote during that time when I feel like copying it over and editing it.
Surprisingly, I noticed some good signs today. (However, the only literal sign I noticed today was the entrance to a place I guessed--rightly so--is an AIDS help center I never knew was there before...) Maybe things are finally changing for me.
Maybe this semester won't feel like I'm trudging along with cement shoes, like Fall did.
Maybe my appointment with my doctor (who I've never met before) on Wednesday will go well...
Maybe I'll finally be pushed in the right (or any) direction towards hormone therapy, towards my final sight of the end of my transition.
Or maybe I'll just feel better for a little while.
Any one of these things would be such a blessing, just to take the stress or unease of one of these problems away...
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